Distrusting patience

14 01 2010

In an interview published in the Paris Review, Spanish author Javier Marias was asked if there was one quality a novelist should have.  “Patience,” he answered.   I think that’s also true of marathoners and ultramarathoners.  But really, running those distances requires something beyond patience.  Patience implies an expectation of something to arrive, pass, or to end.  There is a sort of hope in patience, and hope is not what ultramarathoners need, because hope is a false promise you can all too easily betray yourself with, mile after mile.  Despite our hope, things happen and keep happening.  Ultra runners need what a lizard has as it sits on a rock through sun and rain, what our rosemary bushes have as they cling through burning summers and freezing winters.  They need acceptance, and, beyond that, the ability to recognize acceptance as something other than defeat or weakness, to stand on the dark howling brink of the Tao and simply fall into the present, second by second.  At mile 71 of a 100 mile race, when your hamstring is failing, the cold rain is turning the narrow ribbon of dirt you can’t really see in front of you into slush, and you’re imagining a hot bath and warm bed a little too vividly, you need to accept it all and simply let it pass through you, over and over, big and wide and free.  You need to accept acceptance.


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5 responses

15 01 2010
forgingahead

Beautiful thought! I’m going to keep that in mind while I’m trying to accept being trapped in the MRI machine next week.

16 01 2010
ebwrite

Thank you — positive thoughts for your MRI.

18 01 2010
jim

Your post reminds me of Almaas’ words about holding the question:” where am I going”. If we hold this question tenderly and consistently in the heart we connect to “the flame”. This is the space beyond all grasping, agenda. It is the place of pure awareness. Just let yourself experiment with this inquiry during a run or drive or whatever. You see we are not going anywhere or ” wherever you go there you are”. It is not easy to do this . The conditioned mind will continually reach for something to cling to, let it go… where am I going. Patience is as essential quality in this inquiry…

22 01 2010
Ryan V.

Well said, my friend. Well said.

27 01 2010
ebwrite

Thanks folks! Ryan, very bummed I have to miss your most excellent 50K again this year; we’ll be in Boulder that week.

Anyone looking for a super fun 50K, you can hardly do better than this:

http://elscorchorun.com/

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